How Humanity Can Improve

Empathy is where humankind is lacking. We have such a great emphasis on fitting in and trying to be like everyone else, but not enough on portraying our real selves to each other, or properly understanding everyone around us. Most of our conversations are superficial. I’m using “How are you?” as an example. What percentage of the time when you ask that question, are you really inquiring after someone’s well-being? Really, it’s a conversation filler or starter. Nothing meaningful. You can apply the same idea to much of our other communication. Most of the time, we’re not really saying what we’re thinking or feeling in that moment. We tiptoe around those areas as if they’re quicksand. Most of the time, our feelings have this invisible picket fence around them. Ain’t socially acceptable to go there, love. We are selective about the few feelings we do share. That’s why you seldom get people telling you they feel depressed in the moment. No-one tells you when they’re properly jealous of you. They don’t tell you what they’re unhappy about in their lives, or what they’re insecure about. It’s likely you don’t bring those things up either. At least, not with most people. This is because you don’t think they’ll understand, and they don’t think you’ll understand either. The remnants of caring become superficial remarks. To fit in, we try to acquire the same material objects as everyone else. The same clothes. The same style of living. We become detached and self-absorbed and endeavour to be like everyone else to make up for the fact that we don’t have much real closeness. I think all the effort for this “being like everyone else” makes you unhappy when it isn’t what you genuinely want. And most of the time you don’t realise what you’re doing.

If we had more empathy, and in general, talked to each other from the heart, we’d be more content with being ourselves. This is partly because when you tell someone how you feel and they understand, it validates that feeling. It’s also because we’d understand why other people want what they want. We’d be closer to each other.

I wish we could just talk to each other from the heart, say what we want to say and express our feelings without unnecessary propriety. I don’t mean be rude to each other. I mean remove that nasty little unnecessary picket fence. I really very strongly feel this way. I constantly feel like people are being fake. It’s terrible. On both a personal and a world scale. If people all over the planet, powerful people especially, made the effort to understand each other, so many of the world’s problems would be nonexistent.

Tell me whether you agree or disagree with me. And tell me how you think humanity can improve. Remember to speak from the heart πŸ™‚

Let me quickly thank everyone who follows this blog – you are awesome and I send great gratitude to you πŸ™‚ I fairly recently reached 200; https://tremendouskyle.wordpress.com/ was my 200th follower, so thank you! Yay, no more Liebster awards.

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6 thoughts on “How Humanity Can Improve

  1. I tend to agree with you that too many people flap their lips without really considering the meaning of what they say. So I will, for instance, NOT say “How are you?” unless I want a proper answer. Most people will respond with “Fine” – but if you’re paying attention, their tone of voice, body language and facial expression will often invite you to push for more detail – “Really? Only fine?” or “Hmmm … you don’t sound fine – what’s up?” or “I’m so glad! What especially fine things have been happening to put that smile on your face?”

    Also, if I don’t want to know – if I don’t care, because I don’t like them or am stressed out and don’t want to deal with their issues, I don’t ask. I simply say “Hi.” I may follow up with some totally innocuous question that doesn’t open me up to a bunch of information I don’t want to have, or I might make some bland comment about the weather or the event we’re at or whatever. I know most people wouldn’t share the information anyway … but I won’t ask if I don’t want to know.

    Lastly, if people ask me how I am, I tell them. How much I tell them depends on the relationship. If it’s a close friend, I’ll give detail; if it’s a casual acquaintance and I’m not fine I’ll say something like, “I’ve been better!” and give some small detail, and then switch the subject. If it’s someone I don’t want to open up to, I’ll still be honest but will make it clear I don’t want to discuss it – but in a pleasant way, such as, jokingly, “Argh, life sucks and my head aches and I’m relying on you to cheer me up!” – and then change the subject.

    I guess the point is, you can moan about how “other people” behave … or you can make conscious choices regarding your own behavior. I think you’ll find that you have more control over what YOU do than what other people do!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with you Jamila!
    But if you ask me how I feel and I don’t feel good, I’ll tell you. It’s really nice to see the people who asked that question and expected a “fine” and instead they get a “I’m so sad that I can’t breathe”. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hm..”.ain’t socially acceptable”….I think you’re right, Sweet Pea, but I’m an Italian from upstate New York, so I’ve never really worried about what is or is not “socially acceptable”…I care about people. Truly, honestly care about people’s health and well-being, so if my questions seem intrusive or “socially unacceptable”, I figure, “it is what it is”….can’t please everyone….I’m not out to have everyone like me or accept me. Everyone must RESPECT me, but you can politely, respectfully hate me, if that’s the way you wanna be…I figure it’s “your loss” ya know????? Good post, Sweetie! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aha. I REALLY like what you said about the fact that you don’t really worry about what’s socially acceptable, and you genuinely care about people’s well-being! That is great!!
      Yeah, I totally know what you mean!
      Thank you πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. this was an amazing post! i actually seem to never really have reached that stage of hiding something. i try but im far too honest and far too emotional. when i ask someone how he is feeling it is because i care, if i think someone looks great i tell them, if someone asks me something: there you go! and so on… i often got hurt because of this and probably will a lot in the future, too but i definitely am not able to change. i have a lot of friends who are this way, too and i’m grateful for that. no need to fit in to a sick community like the world / society is since it will make you sick and sad as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That last sentence is so good and true, I completely agree. I actually think that’s really great that you don’t hide your emotions, and your friends don’t either. Now we just need to convince the rest of the world!

      Thank you very, very much πŸ™‚

      Like

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