Firstly, I care too much about what other people think of me. I don’t necessarily change myself based on their opinions (Or really, what I think their opinions are), but I certainly care about what they think. It’s stupid and irrational. I’m always paranoid that people are judging me, even though there’s nothing wrong with anything I do. Obviously, you can’t try to please everyone, and I don’t see why anyone would want to, so the whole “please only think well of me” thing is pointless.
Secondly, I feel awkward a lot of the time. Sometimes it’s for no reason, and sometimes because I feel embarrassed about something I said.
Another thing I don’t like about myself is that I can’t sing. I know this one is more of a skill than a personality trait, but it’s still something I don’t like. I literally think that if a Bond-style villain was dangling me above a pit of lava, threatening to drop me in if I didn’t produce a couple of slightly harmonious vocals, that I couldn’t sing to save my life. Somehow my voice finds comfort in being ridiculously high-pitched and tuneless. Occasionally I can hit lower notes, but I can’t sing at talking level or volume… And I have yet to master those magnificent Behemoth-style growls.
As well as singing, I’m bad at arguing. I hate disagreeing with someone, and I always end up getting upset and not finding the words to express myself properly. I’m also terrible at lying
If my singing is awful, you should see my maths! It’s painful. I seem to be bad at anything “technical” or “left-brained.”
On top of all that, I procrastinate. Urgh *buries face in hands, sighing.* You may have read my post about it.
Procrastination probably contributes to my less-than-perfect guitar playing, which brings us to the fact that… I’m not very good at guitar. I find the frets and notes and chords SO confusing. The theory behind it all messes up my head. I feel particularly upset about this because I know that many people can teach themselves guitar and they find it easy, but I just find the whole thing totally baffling. I even struggle watching guitar tutorials for beginners on youtube! It makes me feel really stupid that something that most people find easy is this difficult for me. I have a guitar teacher and I wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere without him. But still, I feel like I may not be the best guitar-learner out there! I’ve been learning for about seven months, which is the amount of time it usually takes to get at least passable at guitar. Needless to say, my level is below that.
Another thing I don’t like – that’s another topic altogether – is my physical appearance and facial features. They aren’t AWFUL but they’re not the nicest ever.
And separately, I really wish I was a boy.
Something unrelated that I’d like to change about my life is the fact that I go to bed late and wake up late. It’s may sound like a small change but it’s a very unhealthy habit. Every day I think “I’ll go to bed earlier tomorrow” but there’s always a different task that gets in the way.
Waking up late in the morning means that there’s less time to get things done, which means I don’t do enough useful things, which leaves me with a sense of disappointment in myself.
Last of all, I’m not athletic or sporty. Swimming and running aren’t my strong points, and I know nothing about football. Or basketball. Or tennis. Or… ping-pong.
Sometimes I feel like the only thing I’m good at is listening to music.
Obviously there are a lot more things that I don’t like about myself. I’m just not going to tell you about them…
What don’t you like about yourself? What do you wish you could change about your life? And what are you proud of or happy about? I would LOVE to hear what you think!
And just to quickly lighten the mood a bit, here are some things that I’m HAPPY about:
– I’m not bad at writing. At least, I don’t think I’m bad at it. Feel free to contradict me if you feel the need :).
– I have a good music taste.
– My friend Caitlin.
– I have two adorable cats.
– You’re reading this. I feel really pleased when people read my blog, so thank you very much.
– Of course, there are more plenty more things I’m happy about. But this post is called “11 things I don’t like about myself” for a reason. I could do another post called “11 things I like about myself” but that wouldn’t be nearly as fun, would it?
Remember to leave a comment if you feel like it. Thanks for reading.